3 of us cried...

Cayden was cranky on one of the nights and kept on crying even though he was sleepy. I carried him, immediately he kept silent. Thinking he might want his Mummy to pat. But alas, Cayenne saw me carrying Cayden, she immediately ran to me and said "抱我". I told her nicely that 弟弟 needs Mummy now, let Mummy take care of 弟弟 first and I will come back to you. But this girl refused to co-operate. My helper took over Cayden from me, I was reluctant to pass Cayden to her. Cayden looked at me with his SAD face. Once my helper carried him, he immediately burst into crying! I was so heartpained that I immediately carried him. Crying stopped. But Cayenne cried upon seeing me carrying Cayden. Dennis helped to carry Cayden but Cayden was hugging me so tightly, refused to let go. He cried again when Dennis carried him. I was so upset and I scolded Cayenne that if she refused to let Mummy carried 弟弟, Mummy won't carry her as well!

My poor Darling Cayden! I felt so helpless and useless that my son wanted me yet I can't be there for him! Dennis brought Cayenne to my Dad's room and Cayenne cried when I was outside. I was helpless. Wanted to carry Cayden so much yet I knew my little girl. She would cry non stop, even Dennis couldn't handle her.

So in the end, I went to the room and spoke to Cayenne. Told her nicely about what happened just now and Mummy wished that she could let Mummy take care of 弟弟. She refused. Dennis told me "Let her be" & I walked out from the room, immediately she cried again.

By then, Cayden was sleeping in my helper's arms. Felt heartpain again. Sigh... Went into the room shortly and immediately Cayenne stopped crying. I looked at her, my tears dropped.

I cried because my Double Cs wanted me yet I can't be with them at the same time.

I cried because I felt so helpless and useless when Double Cs wanted me at the same time.

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