Had a minor "breakdown" yesterday morning. What else but cry. ;p
Probably I am stressed over having to handle Cayenne & Cayden ALONE as Dennis will be flying off to Sweden for course training after baby shower. For 2 solid months! ;( I will be left alone to take care of both kids & to supervise the helper. Plus we are sending Cayenne to Childcare Centre in September. The thought of it makes my tears flow out. I do not want to send Cayenne to CC so early. So much transition happenings around her. Arrival of my helper, 弟弟 & then gotta to send her to CC. Feels heartpain whenever I think of it.
Like to ask any sane mummies around, will you feel stress if you are me? Sigh...
Talking about the minor breakdown yesterday, I was instructing my helper to prepare lunch for Cayenne. She tends to be forgetful & do wrong sometimes. So I asked her to tell me the preparation procedure. Jann was jokingly telling me "STRESSED". Immediately I flared up though not loud. I slammed the kitchen gate and locked myself in the room to cry. Of cos this is not the 1st incident. There are a few incidents which I told Jann, she tells me if she is the helper, she will feel the stress. I'm thinking probably she is not me, having to undergo a few transitions in my life now, she will not understand how I feel.
I am thinking who should be the one to feel the stress?! I engaged my helper to assist me or at least to lighten my burden, NOT to create more problems for me.
My stand is I have to make sure my helper knows my requirements. She is only here for one month plus. If I too lax on her, won't it be harder to train her or want her to do things as per my instructions?
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14 years ago
