Terrible Nights for ...

ME! ;(

Don't know if it is because of the lunar 7th month that Cayenne starts her "nonsense" again OR due to the medicine that she has been taking for the past 1 month... She seems to be uncontrollable, super active & "create troubles" for me... Sigh... I'm getting physically and emotionally drained out especially when I'm still coughing away. *TIRED*

For the past few nights, Cayenne doesn't want me to lie down to sleep with her. Not because she wants to sleep on her own, she wants me to sit down to pat her or sometimes stand up and carry pat her! She will say "Mummy cannot lie down, Mummy sit down/stand up and pat." Sometimes I give in to her requests, but at certain times when I'm really really very tired, I refuse. She will make noise and start to be cranky. Of cos I have my way to handle this little girl of mine.

And if midnight if she wakes up and doesn't see me in the room (Sometimes I'm patting Cayden back to sleep), she will scream for me. Then she will cling onto me lying on my legs with her legs at my stomach area and sleep. I think this way she feels secure that I will not "disappeared". I have to sit up with my back leans against the bedrest and sleep. Can you imagine that? I have been sleeping in this manner for the past few nights!

Cayden has been having blocked nose these 2 nights. He also cannot sleep well, on and off will cry abit. Sometimes needs me to pat him back to sleep. I try not to disturb my helper during the midnight. So I have been doing a few midnight shifts for these few nights. Because of his blocked nose that he cannot sleep well, I have to carry pat or even let him lie on my body at least 2 hours before he can fully deep sleep.

I'm like a production worker, working on shifts. Meaning, after handling either Big or Small C, the other will tend to wake up. So I don't have good night sleep at all. In fact, none since birth of Cayenne. Am a super light sleeper, abit of noise/sound, I will definitely jump up from bed.

Because of the cough, lack of sleep & physically and emotionally tired out, my temper blows. Alittle bit of issue will make me so fed up and easily flare up. I really don't like myself now. How should I control and curb my temper?