I wanna break free!

Of cos not me! It's my Darling Cayenne! Haha...

She "auto broke" the sarong sleeping! Received sms from Jann while I was in KK on Saturday. Jann sms-ed saying Cayenne's sleeping habit had changed! Was very happy!

Since 18th July 09, Saturday, Cayenne has been co-sleeping with Dennis & me. ;)

Kinda of ironical. Most parents would want their kids to "break" the co-sleep habit when their kids get older BUT for the Chua Family, we do the opposite. Haha...

Though Cayenne isn't so "sticky" to me which I'm glad, she still needs me to be lie on the bed with her during naps and night sleeping. So when comes to sleeping times, I tend to be very BUSY if the timing clashes with Cayden's latching on time. I gotta to settle Cayden then "run" off to handle Cayenne ever since I got discharged from hospital. This lasted for at least 1 week plus. How I wish to have two MEs! So that I can handle both Cs concurrently. ;p

Then I decided to feed Cayden formula milk instead of direct latching around 8plus-9plus. This timing has been reserved for Cayenne. The confinement lady feeds Cayden while I lie with Cayenne on the bed around this timing. At least I won't get tired so easily. ;)

I had told myself that this time round, I would do better. Add stress on myself? Keke... Well, I think not. I told myself that I would strive to be a happy & relaxed Mummy this time.

Don't want to get so stressed over the breastfeeding issue as I was during Cayenne's time. With Cayenne around, I think probably I won't be able to last long with the breastfeeding. Cos Cayenne needs my attention as much as Cayden. It won't be fair if I neglect her just because I want to breastfeed Cayden. Afterall, I grew up on formula milk & am healthy too. So with this mentality in mind, I'm more of a happier and relaxed Mummy now. ;)

Mummy's Thoughts - Part 4

Had a minor "breakdown" yesterday morning. What else but cry. ;p

Probably I am stressed over having to handle Cayenne & Cayden ALONE as Dennis will be flying off to Sweden for course training after baby shower. For 2 solid months! ;( I will be left alone to take care of both kids & to supervise the helper. Plus we are sending Cayenne to Childcare Centre in September. The thought of it makes my tears flow out. I do not want to send Cayenne to CC so early. So much transition happenings around her. Arrival of my helper, 弟弟 & then gotta to send her to CC. Feels heartpain whenever I think of it.

Like to ask any sane mummies around, will you feel stress if you are me? Sigh...

Talking about the minor breakdown yesterday, I was instructing my helper to prepare lunch for Cayenne. She tends to be forgetful & do wrong sometimes. So I asked her to tell me the preparation procedure. Jann was jokingly telling me "STRESSED". Immediately I flared up though not loud. I slammed the kitchen gate and locked myself in the room to cry. Of cos this is not the 1st incident. There are a few incidents which I told Jann, she tells me if she is the helper, she will feel the stress. I'm thinking probably she is not me, having to undergo a few transitions in my life now, she will not understand how I feel.

I am thinking who should be the one to feel the stress?! I engaged my helper to assist me or at least to lighten my burden, NOT to create more problems for me.

My stand is I have to make sure my helper knows my requirements. She is only here for one month plus. If I too lax on her, won't it be harder to train her or want her to do things as per my instructions?

My Cayenne again!

Playing hide-&-seek with Daddy

Chasing/following the bird

Back to Home Sweet Home

19th July 09, Sunday - Discharge Day

My gynae came to visit me on Saturday early morning around 6plus, checked on my stitch below & give me the "green light" to be discharged on Sunday.

Sleeping Cayden

Got a surprise when I saw my Cayenne! Haha...

"Masked up"

I just couldn't stop laughing when I saw her in mask! So cute! ;p

Getting changed to get ready to go back to home sweet home!

The complete Chua Family ;)

Happy Cayenne!

More Pictures of Cayenne hugging & kissing her 弟弟 Cayden

Just want to share more pictures of Cayenne loving her 弟弟 Cayden. ;) I'm very proud of my Cayenne!

Cheerful Cayenne!

I always love to see my Cayenne so happy, laugh & smile alot! Guess I've been repeating this sentence in Cayenne's blog many times. ;p I guess all mummies love to see their darlings happy, laugh & smile alot! Agree? ;)

The Chua Darlings - Darling Cayenne & Darling Cayden!

Dennis decided to bring Cayenne to visit me during afternoon visiting hours.

Cayenne wanted to sayang 弟弟.
After that, she wanted to kiss 弟弟.

Sayang again.

This is the toy elephant that 弟弟 bought for his 姐姐. ;)

Baby Cayden's 1st few Pictures after Delivery

Cayenne's such a Darling!

YES, she is!!! Dennis & Jann brought Cayenne to visit me. Initally when she saw me, she got the blurred look. Guess she was surprised to see me in the ward. But just a short while, she was ok. Came over to kiss me. I kept telling her that Mummy miss her alot.

Told her that her di di Cayden has arrived and got a little present for her. A light yellow elephant. She hugged the elephant a while then threw one side. Seemed like not interested. Haha... She was more interested in the surrounding, walking and playing hide-&-seek with Daddy.

Asked her where her 弟弟 was. She immediately pointed to Cayden. We were surprised that she didn't point to my tummy. & the best part was she wasn't jealous of me carrying Cayden at all. Dennis was carrying her and she wanted to lean towards me. Not because she wanted me to carry her or sayang her. It was because... ... ... She wanted to kiss and sayang Cayden!!! We didn't ask her to do that. She automatically wanted to do so!

So you see, how could I not proud of my Darling Cayenne?! Cayenne was really such a darling!

After the visiting hours, Dennis & Jann brought Cayenne back home while I took some rest. Evening time, Vivian came to visit me & shortly after, my family came again. ;)

Told Dennis that seemed like our Cayenne didn't like the toy that 弟弟 bought for her. Dennis told me that Cayenne loved it! She kept hugging it when she reached home. So now the elephant is her sleeping partner. ;)

Every now and then we would ask her, where is the elephant that 弟弟 bought for her? She will go and take it or look for it. ;)

Mummy's Thoughts - Part 3

Am very happy to be able to deliver my Darling #2 Cayden naturally without epidural. I'm always a passive person, I always think that I won't be able to do it. But I did it!

Probably due to motherhood, I told myself that I must try. & most importantly to stay sane and relaxed throughout the delivery process.

I recalled telling myself that when I delivered my Darling #1 Cayenne. ;)

Both delivery experiences are differently. Alot of experienced mummies told me that when your baby is ready to come out, you will have the urge to push. I'm not too sure about it. I am thinking, how can that be?! You are already in so much pain, how can you still push? I always think the pain is ENOUGH to kill you than to make you to push.

But I was wrong. And I am glad to be able to experience the wonderful feelings of able to push my Darling #2 Cayden out to this world! ;)

Daddy's wish came true!!!

Baby Cayden arrived as what Daddy had been hoping for. Haha...

My birth story of Baby Cayden was as below...

17th July 09 (Friday), 8plus pm, I felt abit of "dampness" down @ my V area, the feeling was like your menses coming soon. But I didn't tell anyone, not even Dennis cos I scared false alarm. (I had the same feeling on my last check up, in the end, nothing happened. ;p)

Dennis & I settled Cayenne that night quite early, 3 of us knocked out by 9pm? I think so.

I woke up suddenly @ 10pm, felt abit stomachache. Went to toilet. Started to monitor myself, after being an "EXPERIENCED" Mummy of Cayenne. Keke...

Went back to my dreamland again after that.

11.23pm, woke up again, stomachache & felt sharp pain. Went toilet & stayed there quite long. While doing "big" business, felt sharp pain again. Pain getting intense each time. Immediately, I knew Dennis's wish was coming true!

Could you imagine while doing "big" business and having the big word "CONTRACTION" pain, was like arghh...

Inside my heart was "blaming" Dennis for suggesting Baby Cayden to arrive on 18th July 09, Saturday. I worried about my Cayenne. I even thought of calling Lily to help me to take care of Cayenne in the middle of the night!

After toilet, I came out to see if Jann was back home anot. She wasn't back yet! I was thinking I needed her to help me to handle Cayenne in the middle of the night if need arised. Well, lucky, she came back soon. Told her that I was experiencing contraction, interval about 4 minute.

The pain was getting really intense as the clock was clicking away. I had to keep focusing on my breathing and stopped everything that I was doing whenever the contraction came.

18th July 09 (Saturday), 12plus early morning, decided to wake Dennis up to inform him that his wish came true! Haha... Quickly went to take a bath.

Lucky on Friday, I already prepared a list of how to prepare Cayenne's milk, soup & meals. Passed it to Jann. Jann kept consoling me that Cayenne would be in good hands when she saw my worried face. ;p

Left home around 12.45am, reached KK around 1am - 1.15am. Did the admission, the nurse pushed me to the delivery ward using a wheelchair.

The nurse settled me on the bed and doing the necessary preparation. Time was 1:26am. Already in so much pain, still gotta to answer ALOT of questions from the nurse. Felt like flaring up. But heard from the nurse that they had alot of paperwork to do, no choice.

Contraction started to get 3 minutes per contraction. My gynae arrived around 2am, checked on me & was surprised that I was already 6cm dilated! He didn't asked me if I wanted epidural anot, he simply said "No need epidural right?" I was like err... Confused, wanted to try natural with just laughing gas, but at the same time, scared to be a "heroine". I told my gynae I would keep my option open since he said even 6cm dilated still can administer epidural.

After thinking, I told my gynae that I decided NOT to use epidural. But of cos before making such a BIG decision, I kept asking my gynae that my Cayden would come out fast one right. Wantd some assurance. ;p

He said yes. He told us that he predicted that I would delivered by 4am. If not, would induce. He asked me if I felt like poo-ing anot. I innocently told him that I poo-ed before I came to KK. He said no. He said if anytime I felt like poo-ing, it meant Cayden is ready to come out. Oops.

After that, he went off while I was "suffering" like hell with the contractions. Inhaled the laughing gas, got really high just after a short while. The feeling was like getting drunk. ;p Though high, I still knew what was going on in the delivery ward.

Suddenly, I just kept crying. I thought of my Cayenne and my Mother. Pulled out the mask and told Dennis that I wanted my Mother with me. Cried and cried.

Got the urge to poo, quickly told Dennis and the nurse. Nurse checked on me, said I was 9cm dilated. I dilated quite fast, judging from the time my gynae left the delivery ward to the time I got the urge to push. I think probably just 15 minutes or so. The nurse quickly called my gynae and at the same time, asked me not to push yet. But the urge to push was very STRONG! In fact, before my gynae came back, I did push abit. ;p Lucky my gynae came back fast. After about 3 pushes, Baby Cayden arrived @ 0240hours with a cry and his 1st "splash" of urine! Haha...

I quickly took a look @ my lovable Cayden & was very happy to be a 2nd time Mummy again. Felt happiness & peace within me. Quickly told Dennis to take pictures of our Cayden. ;)

My gynae was telling me and Dennis that he was surprised that I took such a short time to deliver. FAST & SHORT.

In short, from the start of my contractions to the time I delivered, I took merely 2 hrs and 40 minutes. ;)

Even the nurses in the delivery ward and the admission counter also knew I delivered fast. They were congratulating me when I was on my way to the maternity ward. At that moment, I felt abit "proud" of myself and of cos my Cayden. Hee...

Mummy's Thoughts - Part 2

Mixed feelings of delivering my Darling #2. Though I had the 1st experience, somehow or rather, the coming 2nd time fear is much STRONGER than the 1st. I think it is due to the fact that 1st time, blur blur go in (though hear alot of experiences from experienced mummies), blur blur come out. Haha...

2nd time one is like oh gosh, I already have the experience and know how the procedure is like. So kinda of having cold feet now. Haha...

Another thing I have to consider is if I go to labour is my Darling #1 Cayenne. Who is going to take care of her? Am hoping to pop during weekday as Cayenne will be @ Lily's place. So I will be more 放心.

But her Daddy wants me to pop on weekend. But of cos to pop on weekday/weekend depends on my Darling #2. Haha...

Mummy's Thoughts - Part 1

Been on ML since 06th July 09. 1st week of ML was so busy with my helper, guiding & supervising her to do spring cleaning before my #2's arrival. Woke up every morning @ 6am though I on ML. YES! No joke!

Went for checkup & CTG scan but no signs of contractions. #2 not even engaged yet. Dr Tham said my #2 is so comfortable inside me. Haha... He mentioned that most likely next week I would pop. BUT if still no signs of labour, by latest have to induce. Arghh...

Baby, please co-operate with Mummy ok. I know Mummy hasn't been "spending" time or "talking" to you. Please don't get angry ok. Mummy promises you once you are out, Mummy & Daddy will shower all our love to you and to your sister, Cayenne. ;)

Welcome to our new blog!

Finally decide to create a new blog for my Darlings. Guess my dear friends who have been reading my Darling Cayenne's blog will have to switch to this new blog. ;p

Hope you guys will continue to visit my Darlings' blog. & of cos hope that you guys enjoy reading and viewing the "happenings" in my Darlings' growing up journey. ;)