My hope...

My hope is to do without a helper if possible. I'm still not used to having a helper within our home. No doubt she helps me alot by taking good care of Cayden, somehow or rather, I just don't like having a stranger in our home. I know. Very bad of me to say this & worse, blogged it all down. ;p

The other day, my colleague, Liying asked me if Cayenne is jealous of Cayden anot. I said "No". I carry Cayden, Cayenne has no problem but sometimes will point to bouncer, signalling me to put Cayden there. And if I feed Cayden, she will come over and lean against me, faking cries. Last time, I have no problem bathing Cayden while Cayenne helped. But now, I can't even bath Cayden. She will come over, crying and leaning against me again. Makes me very difficult to bath Cayden. So Liying told me all these are signs of jealousy. Then, I realized it.

Told Dennis about it, I told him since I got this intention of not keeping the helper, maybe I should start feeding Cayden myself whenever possible, trying to instill an impression to Cayenne that Mummy also needs to take care of her 弟弟. Hopefully she understands.

But Dennis told me that I should try only after Cayenne's teething period. Cos now she is already so clingy to me & can be worse when she's teething.

So intend to do so probably early next year and by then, Cayenne should understand more. But of cos, now on and off, will try. If cannot, will pass my Cayden to my helper to feed. *Guilty* I really felt so guilty towards my Cayden. At times, I wish there are two MEs to handle my children.